Monday, January 2, 2012

Worth It

If I had known on the day I was born all that I would have to endure throughout my childhood, I would have said "No thanks, world.  I don't want to be here."  Really, life doesn't give you that choice.  You are stuck with what ever life you are born into.

If you would have asked me at age four or nine or twelve or fifteen or twenty five, I would have told you that life just isn't worth it.  Fortunately, by the time I reached thirty, I had discovered that life is "worth it".  At forty I found love and at fifty, contentment and peace.  Yes, my life has been a gift, fought for and hard won. A present I had to find, purchase, wrap in pretty paper, add ribbon and a bow to.  It has been a very high price that I have paid for my gift.  Perhaps that makes my life now all the sweeter.

The sadness and confusion, the hurt and the fears, they haven't so much left me as I have incorporated them into who I am. They do not overwhelm me anymore.  They don't leave me either but they are not what my life is.

Perhaps, for the time being, that is enough.

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